on the verge of change.

at the end of this month we’ll hopefully know whether we [...]]]> i think of mary poppins, and when they sensed the winds going in a different direction, a change was about to happen. everything definitely feels like the edge of something.

on the verge of change.

at the end of this month we’ll hopefully know whether we are staying in this house, or going. it doesn’t seem like we really can afford to buy a house, but we are looking. our needs are too specific to find a place to rent (which would cost us more than a mortgage payment) so it just makes sense to see what’s on the market. maybe we could find a foreclosure or short sale.

and i’ve really been trying to step back from what i’m doing right now and take a long hard look. every few months we have to reevaluate our budget. we don’t use a cash system, periodically enter our transactions into a spreadsheet, or even look at it every day. but dave ramsay’s concept of allocating every penny to know where your money is going is something we hold firm to, and visit every couple months. and this time around i saw that we make enough money to survive.

but to thrive? to grow? to give? to work towards something? not so much. wil is a hard working provider. he doesn’t make a ton, and often works harder than his title and paycheck. his work ethic and skills are solid. there’s no need for him to do any more than he already is, so when i calculated that we need to make more, i felt the gut in my stomach.

i’m a capable, young wife without children to care for, so i really feel like the ball is in my court to step it up. looking for a career job is still not something we (i) desire for me, but is there something out there that makes fiscal sense? yes. when i stepped away from my job and stopping actively looking for jobs, wil and i agreed together my venture would be threefold…get a nobrainer part time job (check), pursue etsy as a fun way to be creative and make a few bucks on the side (check), and my deepest passion, pursue freelance architectural rendering. this is what i care about the most, yet put the least of efforts into since this spring.

why? am i so gripped with fear? with the worry that i’m not good enough to do it professionally?

seeing the budget in it’s current state put a fire under my chair. but also, it was the encouraging husband, who in the nicest way reminded me how many times this summer i have told him i’d pursue this, and then done nothing. yuck. big time fail of letting me and him down.

but maybe something’s changing. maybe the wind is blowing in a different direction. i am going to take this opportunity to temporarily step away from what i thought was important at the time, and reevaluate things. make plans for living. make plans for drawing. make plans for getting a portfolio made, emailing companies, putting myself out there. saying lots of prayers.

if i stick with my plan, i hope that i am not on here as much, for a little while at least. i think i’ve started to see myself struggle with placing too much time and importance on the online world, not really getting me anywhere. i’m not giving anything up, so if you see something on etsy you’d like to buy, the store is definitely not closed. or if you have a thought, please leave a comment because i’m still around, and hopefully keeping you in on the process. but with the changes in our life right now and the path we’d like to place ourselves on, i need to take a long hard look at my plans. and then, DO THEM.

here goes nothing!

my computer background right now... via pinterest

Days here consist of not much- in a [...]]]> I feel like I really ought to sit and write a post…. I haven’t gotten to talk to many of you in too long! We are a little more than halfway through the summer now, which is totally crazy to think how fast it has already gone.

Days here consist of not much- in a good way. Wil often sleeps in late, and if I am not joining him, I meet our friends for breakfast at the cafeteria. The highlight of many mornings are the waffle machines where you can make them fresh for yourself. : ) Laura and I have gotten into the habit of taking the dogs for a mid morning walk, which they love. We just do a loop around campus, usually catching one of the main orchestra’s practice on the way, and hardly a mile later the girls are exhausted.
I have to say, the cafeteria is not great. We sprinkle in some local burritos, thai, or pizza (or even taco bell) into our days and nights when the food is just not really edible… you can only be creative on the salad bar or make a pb&j so many times before getting bored of it.

I’m trying to sit here and think about what we usually do during the day…and it doesn’t amount to much. Some afternoons are laundry days, nap time, reading, guitar hero, recitals or afternoon concerts to go to. On hot days we’ve gone down to the dock for some sun and a dip in the chilly lake (watch out for snakes!) But for the most part, it’s any combination of the six of us…Laura/Jason (who asked us to come and is Wil’s ‘boss’), me/Wil, and Matthew/Sarah (came back from last year as the high school deans… Wil is the college dean). We eat together, sit on the porch together…

What has consumed the majority of our time and what we do every night while the deans are on call for any issues is watching The Office…Laura and Jason had never seen it, so we are going start to finish! It’s just as enjoyable to watch someone see the Jim & Pam story unfold for the first time, as it is to see the episodes again.

We stay up late…maybe have some wine or beer (funded by offering high schoolers 5 bucks to drive them into town as opposed to a $7 cab…he he), and Wil locks up the college hang out around 1am. And that’s the life. The concerts have been amazing- the larger scale ones take place on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but there’s constant practice and things going on throughout the week. Music literally fills the air at any given moment. We’ve seen some amazing musicians and an opera already (Hello Dolly is this weekend!). Matthew likes to give us a hard time for the fact that no one famous comes from Oregon- but there is a 15 year old violin prodigy that’s pretty amazing to watch (he came last year too)…if you ever hear of Brandon Garbot playing with any of the symphonies in Portland or around home, you must go see him. (Wil picked him up from the airport when he first arrived, and told Brandon all about how he had heard about this amazing young violin player…all the while not realizing he was talking to him.)

As for life outside of Brevard…Wil’s been working on looking for apartments online. He’s got a few leads, but nothing can really happen in that department until it’s closer to September, when we can see things in person, and depending on what’s available. I started working on my portfolio- I’m giving myself a couple hours a day every other day or so to research stuff online, get my info together, etc. I’m not feeling the most encouraged or motivated…it’s hard wrapping my brain about working again when not working is so fantastic. But we won’t survive without the income if Wil is too busy to not have a job during school…ugh…being an adult…

Well, shoot an email if you want- we are finding more pockets of internet around here…right now by some stroke of luck, one of the networks way across the field picks up in our cabin ever so often. Trying to get back on the grid!

-love-

technically, isabella and princess are our cheerleaders, sabrina makes our draperies and we call/email her about 5 times a day, and kim is her daughter, who worked with us about a year ago. carolyn barry, who joined us later for dinner is equally as special- [...]]]> cassie, randi, me, carolyn, isabella, princess, sabrina, kim

technically, isabella and princess are our cheerleaders, sabrina makes our draperies and we call/email her about 5 times a day, and kim is her daughter, who worked with us about a year ago. carolyn barry, who joined us later for dinner is equally as special- she does our carpet and we talk to her a million times a day to, whether it’s work related or over a bowl of afternoon ice cream!

love these ladies!

(yes, we were all a mess during most of the times at dinner…and i did not realize people would give me gifts for leaving…that did not help the tear-fest! isabella kept rolling her eyes and saying “there they go again, everyone’s crying again!”)

i am blessed.

i don’t know if i really stopped and prepared myself for the mental part of today. we have special clients [...]]]> at alcott is today. i am kind of bumming out, as i talk to people on the phone the last time, as i run errands to our regular places the last time…and it’s only 11:40!

i don’t know if i really stopped and prepared myself for the mental part of today. we have special clients and vendors coming over for cake, and then all us girls are going to dinner tonight. it’s going to be a blubbering-fest in a few hours, i know it.

sad day.

and on a dumb note, our internet was not broken. i always thought you had to reset the modem when you had issues, but it was just the router. fixed after a minute long conversation with wil. and here i was fretting about our online bills, craigslist, posting on here…ugh!

and on another dumb note, i did my third attempt at a cake last night. third fail. i accidentally had the oven set at 300, instead of 350 for the majority of the baking time. so they were short and spongy. we might be ordering a cake at the last minute in montana for all i know. the ganache frosting was pretty great though.

wil walked into our cabin-home for the next two months right about the same time i stepped into our nashville-for sale home.

yesterday i went with my boss to atlanta…she goes once a month and this was my last time accompanying her (it’s usually [...]]]> wil and i went our separate ways the last two days!

wil walked into our cabin-home for the next two months right about the same time i stepped into our nashville-for sale home.

yesterday i went with my boss to atlanta…she goes once a month and this was my last time accompanying her (it’s usually every other month between me and cassie who joins). it was lame to add two days to the tally of being apart from wil, but before realizing that, i knew i wanted to take advantage of my last chance of visiting atlanta and our usual design stops.

wednesday we leave at 7 am, and it’s a 4 hour drive…we head straight to the design center…walking through showrooms looking at furniture pieces and different lines, requesting fabric samples to take back, and any other odds and ends that we are looking for at the time. it’s always really enjoyable to see things in person and also match faces with names of the people we talk a lot with on the phone.

it also made me curious if whoever i might work for visits the seattle design center and what that might be like.

we wrap up right at 5 when it closes, and usually have a great dinner…last night was no let down. we more often than not will shop for an hour or two- this time we visited the mall (usually it’s philene’s basement). but thursday has in store a very early start with lots of walking, so we honestly go back to the hotel and go to bed very early!

now, i know wil and all those starbucks folks are used to getting up at 4 and 5 in the morning, but it’s not so easy for those of us who are used to getting up 2-3 hours later. it’s rough! but we do it not so much for the deals, but by getting to the antique market while everyone is literally pulling stuff off the trucks, you are ensuring you get the best stuff before someone else! we wake up at 4:45 nashville time, and get to the buildings at about 6…

here is not long after we arrived in the south building…this row of vendors was just starting to unload. carolyn was checking out the size of a chest to be used for in a powder with a sink. it didn’t work.

this is maybe 3 or 4 hours later, and mind you, this view shows about 1/15th of what this building holds, plus a 2nd building of the same size…the ‘booths’ in this building are less defined, except for those hanging blue signs of letters, and tend to look a little more sparse than the north building because the south tends to have large furniture pieces and the north all the lighting, and other piddly things like silver, jewelry, books, etc. and it’s kind of madness the whole time. the economy has hit it, with usual vendors not showing up, or repetitive inventory, or just less inventory like this picture shows…more often than not you are maneuvering between pieces close together.

there’s definitely a lot of interesting nice pieces, but there’s still junk and stuff you wonder why someone bought that thinking someone else would want to buy it from them… our favorite usual dealers are either european, or go to europe themselves.

one very specific thing about scotts is the food. there are ‘food courts’ all over, and it’s all junk! this one is particular makes the whole center smell sooo gross..greasy southern food. just think about smelling fried catfish at 9 in the morning. pleasant.

oddly enough, after a lucky morning after buying a bunch, the power went out in the whole building while we were trying to look at oriental rugs. instead of picking a rug in the dark that we thought was brown and unroll at home and find out it’s like hot purple or something, we left about an hour early. i was quietly thankful, because usually the last hour is the hardest on my feet and mental endurance.

we got to nashville earlier than usual, and i made my way to our quiet home…i don’t want to get myself all down, but it’s really weird sitting at the computer just waiting to hear for the dogs to come up the stairs and see me.

wil, on the other hand, made it to brevard! yesterday was full of goodbyes and last social endeavors…golf, lunch, driving around, dinner, games. and i got a picture from his phone last night…

we decided in the last week to actually let the dogs be on the couch since it was the end of their time with that couch, and who cares! gracie had definitely tried to establish this for the last….well, forever, so you can tell she was all over it, and i don’t think ava quite gets it. : )

it looks like wil might have been stuck in some traffic, but he’s there! i asked him to take a picture of our cabin, so i will share. or maybe he can! maybe we can separately update the blog while we have our own adventures. that’d be fun.

i am all for routine, predictability and whatnot…if something expected gets unexpectedly changed, i can handle it, but it might not be as enjoyable (depending on what it is). anyways, today was unlike any other monday for very piddly reasons, but it seemed to all add [...]]]> it was my turn for a really great day…

i am all for routine, predictability and whatnot…if something expected gets unexpectedly changed, i can handle it, but it might not be as enjoyable (depending on what it is). anyways, today was unlike any other monday for very piddly reasons, but it seemed to all add up nicely.

we went to a friends for the superbowl yesterday, and since they lived near wil’s store and he was just getting off, i met him at the store and we drove together. leaving in such a tizzy to make it back home to see the office, we pulled into an empty garage last night, realizing we left my car 20 minutes away at his store. bummer. luckily wil would be leaving before i’d need to be at work, so we drove together so i could retrieve my car.

getting up an hour early was well worth it (i couldn’t say the same if he had to open that morning), because i got to spend a little extra time with him. while he would say that his morning was all messed up because i interferred with his methods and morning systems, i enjoyed actually seeing him and spending a few minutes in the car together…we rarely see each other in the mornings because he’s either opening and left after my groggy goodbye, or he’s off and sleeping in while i go to work. i loved starting my day with you, wil.

getting to his store, i got to eat some yummy oatmeal, and being on his schedule, i still had quite a chunk of time to kill before going to work…so i got to chat with good friends behind the bar that i never see that time of day. another plus.

i was able to get to work a half hour early, with a warm drink in hand (plus!), and if i did this any other day, i would just leave work early that evening.but being that we left the house at 7am, the dogs would have had an 11 hour day. with a free half hour available to me, and for the sake of my house and the girls, i took some extra time at lunch to give them a break. i don’t know why, but that midday escape was so great, the warmth of the winter sun got us up to 60′s maybe (plus)? and my cute, groggy, surprised puppies were joyous to see me for 10 minutes or so (plus), after sleeping the morning away.

also earlier that morning, i was excited to find out our work website went live over the weekend (plus!), and i was happy to see that up and running, since i put it together over christmas (not all the pictures, some were by me, but the good ones were professional!)

i had found out that morning that my best friend may have very likely found their first house to buy, and her excitement was contagious. by the time i had come back after lunch, she had found out that not only was the house in foreclosure, her father-in-law knew the owner, therefore knew how much the bank had invested in it, giving them some great knowledge on the deal and leverage for an offer. it made me want to buy houses again!
the break made the afternoon pass so swiftly (plus!) and there was no drudging through a long workday even though it was a monday and even though i had been functioning for a couple hours longer than usual.

and although oh-so-minor, i took a different route home, and i got home nearly 10 minutes faster than usual (plus!).

yay for daily life!

it’s bigger than coffee.